


Keep video games away from people with addictive personalities

by okita



Category: Gintama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-17 01:59:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4648011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okita/pseuds/okita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I forgot I wrote this. Hijikata gets into love live.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep video games away from people with addictive personalities

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kaguras](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaguras/gifts).



Hijikata never meant for this to happen. He tried fighting it, but it was fruitless. This fucking game was too powerful.

Hijikata knew it wasn’t his fault. As hard as he tried to fight it, Tosshi was a part of him. And so, Tosshi also had access to Hijikata’s money. And when Hijikata found that his money was being spent on fucking love gems for some game, he figured he may as well play it.

That was his big mistake. When he opened the game, he was greeted by a goddess. Her long blue hair, her sparkling eyes, the way she held that bow and arrow. Umi Sonoda. She was powerful, strong, brave, soft and warm like mashed potatoes. Hijikata was gay, but this girl was his type. From that point on, there was no saving Hijikata.

But then, it started to get in the way of his life.

 

“Hijikata, sir! We received a tip off about the Anti-Foreigner Faction!” Yamazaki yelled into Hijikata’s room.

“Yamazaki, fuck off, I’m in the middle of a live show!” Hijikata screeched. The fear on Yamazaki’s face was priceless.

 

“Sougo, why can’t our relationship be like Nozomi and Eli’s?” Hijikata sighed, looking up from his phone.

“Go die, Hijikata,” Sougo said. “Besides, if anything, we’re more like Nico and Maki.”  
“What. What did you just say?” Hijikata asked, shaking slightly as he pointed at Sougo. A bead of sweat dripped down Sougo’s face.

“Nothing. I just said to die. You know, the usual,” he said, trying to stay poised.

“No, you said something else. What… what was it?” Hijikata asked, trembling.

“I didn’t say anything else. Go jump off a cliff,” Sougo said in a carefully controlled voice.

“You. You made a Love Live reference,” Hijikata whispered. Suddenly, there was a  loud blast. Smoke filled the room.

“Let’s never speak of this. Ever,” Sougo said, clutching a bazooka.

* * *

 

Hijikata and Sougo sat outside while on patrol, playing on their phones. Suddenly, they felt thwaps hit their heads. They looked up and saw the Odd Jobs girl standing their, umbrella in hand.

“Those girls are in high school, you sick fucks,” she said, before walking away.


End file.
